Retro Reviews: Conker's Bad Fur Day

Conker's Bad Fur Day was released in 2001 developed and published by Rare.

In the history of gaming there are many games that started out one way and come out much differently. Conker's Bad Fur Day is probably the most extreme example of that. In 1997 the first incarnation of Conker, Conker's Quest (and later Twelve Tales: Conker 64) was to be a cute, family friendly affair staring Conker and his chipmunk girlfriend Berri. It was to be much in the mold of Banjo-Kazooie and other 3D platform games of the era. Conker was even in Rare's Diddy Kong Racing in all his high-pitched squeaky voiced glory. There was even a Game Boy version released in 1999 that starred Conker in his cute mode. But in 2000, Conker was revamped into the form that we all know and love. While the game had the cute appearance of the early versions, the game featured swearing, gore, a ton of feces, numerous references to genitalia and more movie parodies than you could shake a stick at. This all came together to create unforgettable and hilarious experience at the end of the N64's lifespan.

Conker is in many ways a standard issue platform game from the 64/32-bit era of games. You lead Conker through the incredibly strange world he inhabits just so he can get home back to every furry's dream girl, Berri and sleep off the massive hangover he got at the bar the night before. Along the way he'll run into gangster wasps, a rather annoyed Death, a King and Queen bee in peril, a buxom & ticklish sunflower and even a giant singing blob of living poo. That is just a sample of all the character he runs into as Conker is unknowingly also trying to avoid being captured by the Panther King to be made into the fourth leg of a broken table.

Conker plays much like Banjo-Kazooie in that if you know how to play that you'll pretty much know how to play it. Conker's big differences in how you progress through levels. Unlike B&K nonlinear hub style, Conker's world is connected and linear. You rarely hang out in one area for very long, usually just long enough to complete a few tasks and collect money (kind of similar to jiggies or stars but less the main point of the game). So relatively speaking Conker is much a stripped down version of a classic 3D platform game, a step back on a ton of collectables per stage that Rare was known for. Another big game play feature is the "context sensitive" buttons that give Conker the ability he needs at that time, such as alka seltzer, throwing knives, a sling shot or beer just to name a few. The great thing about the game is the variety, you'll never do the same exact thing twice and by time you get tired of that particular stage's theme you'll be on to the next one and getting used to a new game play mode. There is even a fun multi-player mode that covers a whole bunch of different game styles, from king of the hill style to fortress defense. And they also have their own sense of humor so they are worth checking out for that.

The only flaw in the game play I'd say is the camera. It really likes to work against you especially when you trying to make a big jump as it'll sometimes go out of position sending you in the wrong direction or unable to see where you trying to reach. You can get around it most of the time but some areas may have you pulling hair out trying to figure out which way to go because the camera disoriented you.

The graphics in Conker's BFD are some of the best on the N64. Even before it's new tone, Conker impressed people especially with the facial animation of Conker. Conker displays a wide range of emotion in the game and it is all expressed very nicely on the N64. The rest of the game is also very colorful for the most part showing the game's roots as a cutesy platformer. The textures are a bit muddy but aren't bad for the N64. I'd say this is all because the N64 expansion pak let Rare do a whole lot of really cool stuff. Only problem is that the frame-rate can get a bit jittery, especially in the most hectic parts.

The audio in the game is also great, some of the best on the N64 at that. While the music is appropriately inappropriate (cute music over the depravity) the voice acting is some of the best I've ever heard. While a tad muted, the various characters and especially Conker all come across as very memorable and if you can't read them they provided us with speech bubbles for some of the harder to understand characters. Also the game features a giant singing pile of poo. Which may be humanities greatest musical achievement. Seriously, if you haven't heard this song, go here now. Your ears will thank you.

In the end if you like N64-era platformers and appreciate a surreal and funny gaming experience chock full of memorable scenarios and references, you cannot go wrong with this classic game. If you want a pleasant reminder of what Rare once was, it is even better.

Pros/Cons

+ Extremely funny with plenty of movie parodies
+ Classic but streamlined 3D platforming gameplay
+ Great N64 graphics
+ The GREAT MIGHTY POO
+ Very good voice acting
- Twitchy camera
- Sometimes suspect framerate

Review: de Blob 2

Review based off Wii version

The sequel to the 2008 cult classic, de Blob, de Blob 2 once again puts into the, um, feet of the Blob fresh off of saving Chroma City from the nefarious INKT Corporation invasion and their attempt to rid the city of all color and leaving the INKT leader, Comrade Black, stranded on an island full of cute colorful creatures. Unfortunately for the residents of Prism City, Comrade Black escaped the island and has taken on the guise of Papa Blanc, a leader of a cult of Inkies and is out to win elected office, though not fairly. It is up to Blob and his robotic friend, Pinky, and stop Comrade Black's new attempt the rid the world of color and..........................wait for it.................................TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

de Blob 2 plays pretty much the same as the first. As you steer Blob through the stages, you collect paint, use that paint to recolor the buildings, signs, furniture and Raydians who had their color stolen from them as well as using paint to defeat the INKT soldiers and their various weapons of mass discoloration. These are typically done in the form of missions that will have to complete as long with bonus missions you will access after you finish the main objectives. There are a few new twists in the game such as color pools which make it easier to get the colors that require mixing without the need of finding red, yellow or blue paintbots though paintbots will still play a prominent roll in color collecting. Next are the side-scrolling stages. At various points you will enter hatches that bring you into various buildings where you will be tasked to destroy any INKT machinery, free any Raydians trapped within and eventually revert the building back into its original colorful form. Another is Inspiration: basically the upgrade system added for the game. It'll let you upgrade Blob so you can collect more paint, use less for special attacks and collect more lives and defense. You can also upgrade Pinky for use in the co-op mode, which is much like the co-op in Super Mario Galaxy 2. A few tweaks to the gameplay from the first includes moving the jump from a wrist flick to the A button, whether this was to better facilitate the PS3 or 360 versions I don't know but it does make jumping an easier process. Also there are now checkpoints after clearing portions of each stage and with each stage roughly taking an hour plus to finish, it lets you take a break if you need to without losing your progress. Some of the flaws of the first game weren't addressed, mostly the lock-on uses to launch attacks. Sometimes Blob won't lock onto what you want him to sending him bounding off the wrong way or onto the wrong thing. This only gets in the way when things get really hectic in the later parts of stages but can be enough to drive you crazy. Also the camera can work against you, especially when you are jumping around tall buildings and a bad angle will either cause you to fall off and have to start over or fall to your death.

Graphically the game is much like the first. Very cartoonish, simple character models and while each stage starts off dull and grey by the end each stage will be extremely colorful, vivid and fun to look at. I'd actually consider buying this on the PS3 when it gets less expensive and see what HD does for the overall look. One of my favorite aspects of the game are the pre-rendered cutscenes, they are generally very nice looking and pretty funny overall and really fit with the overall feel of the game.

The music in the game is very relaxed and fitting with the mood of the game and changing as you bring more color to the world and even depending on what color you use. While the music might not be as memorable as Mario Galaxy's fantastic score, it does the job admirably. The SFX also fits the cartoonish nature of the game. The characters are voiced in a cartoon gibberish style, which does a good job of conveying the characters personalities well. In summation, de Blob 2 is one of better 3rd party efforts to come onto the Wii, which may not say a lot considering the average effort put out by 3rd parties. And considering the Wii's rather anemic line-up this year so far, you could do worse than to pick up this game or even the prequel which is cheap and also quite good.

Pros/Cons
+ Solid 3D platforming
+ Colorful, cartoonish graphics
+ Very easy, going music
+ Funny story and FMV sequences
+ Gameplay tweaks make game easier to control and allows you not to play each stage in one go
- Lock-on can be a pain sometimes
- Camera won't always cooperate

Retro Reviews: Little Nemo: The Dream Master

Little Nemo: The Dream Master was released in 1990 and developed and published by Capcom.

Little Nemo: The Dream Master was based on a 1989 film, Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (which is actually quite good), which itself was based off an early 20th Century comic strip, Little Nemo in Slumberland, created by Windsor McCay. Doesn't that just scream movie and video game adaptation?

Little Nemo has you playing as Nemo. In 1905, while sleeping one night Nemo is visited by an emissary of Slumberland who arrives in a large blimp. He is invited to visit Slumberland to play with the Princess of Slumberland, Camille. He is initially hesitant but after being offered candy (nowadays that would trigger all sorts of red flags), he agrees to go as long as he doesn't have to kiss her. It turns out that Slumberland has been taken over by the Nightmare King and King Morpheus (no not that Morpheus) and it is up to Nemo to travel through Slumberland and to the Nightmare Land to save the day.

Little Nemo, much like a majority of Capcom's NES titles, was a platformer with some exploration elements implemented in most of them. Through first 7 stages, Nemo must find a certain amount of keys to open up a door at the end of each stage. Nemo himself is fairly defenseless and has overall limited abilities. Pretty much all he can do is jump and throw candy. Throwing candy has two uses. The first, mostly useless one, will stun an enemy for a few second but isn't really useful. Where it is useful though is when you find certain animals. Feed them 3 pieces of candy and they will become docile so that you can use them and their specific abilities to find the keys that you would otherwise not be able to find. For instance the frog can jump higher and jump on enemies, the lizard can be used to climb walls, the bee can fly and shoot stingers or the mouse can also climb walls and use a hammer(yeah....) to break down walls and defeat enemies. There are more including the mole, gorilla, hermit crab and fish that are pretty much used in one level and have fairly simple uses. There is one more option that Nemo has that doesn't show up until level 8 and that is the Morningstar. Nemo actually carries it with him throughout the game but can't use it until then. What he can do with it is hit enemies with it and charge it for an energy attack, which is very useful with the 3 bosses you fight in level 8, which are the only bosses in the game.

Nemo's general lack of fighting skill is what makes this game fairly difficult. Not only are some of the enemies incredibly hard to avoid but your animal friends will also hurt you until you feed them sufficient candy. It isn't the hardest game ever but it is a solid challenge.

Graphically this game is standard fair for Capcom. Which can only be a good thing. Especially coming in later in the NES's life the graphics feature nicely animated sprites and lots of colors. The levels all have their own unique themes and look very different from each other with amazingly little in the way of reused stage sprites, though many of the enemies will recur.

The music in the game is also a highpoint. Of course being Capcom this to be expected as well. From the whimsical themes of the early stages, to the dark, scary sounding theme used in Nightmare Land or the extremely fast paced and energetic credits theme, there really isn't a bad song in the game. Some are more memorable than others but they all fit the game wonderfully. The SFX are kind of lacking. Just standard whacks and such. Nothing bad just not great.

In the end, Little Nemo: The Dream Master is a fantastic platformer from Capcom in their NES heyday. It is up there with the Mega Man games and Duck Tales as an all-around great experience and is as fun to play today as it was when I played back in the day.

Pros/Cons

+ Varied Graphics
+ Fantastic Music
+ Varied and large stages
+ Good challenge
- Nemo lack of useful standard attack and lack of great maneuverability
- Inappropriate plying of children with candy.

And as a bonus, a video review by the Happy Video Game Nerd (warning: some swearing):



And a little vanity on my part: A playthrough of the game I did a couple years back and posted to YouTube:

Retro Reviews: Jumping Flash!

Jumping Flash! was released in 1995 developed by Exact Co., Ltd and Ultra Co., and published by Sony. Jumping Flash! (and yes the title includes the exclamation mark) was a launch window game for the Playstation in North America and Europe.

Jumping Flash! was one of those games that really fell outside of Sony's NA release philosophy which was based around games that supposedly appealed to older gamers, you know kind of like the evolution of Sega's Genesis marketing. So a game based around a rabbit mech really wasn't going to cut it. Got my attention in 1995, though I wouldn't get a chance to play it until I got it on the PSN.

Jumping Flash! puts the player in the robotic feet of Robbit. He is a rabbit mech who also shoots lasers. His mission: Save pieces of Crater Planet from the nefarious mad scientist Baron Aloha and his army of squid like aliens the Muumuus. The plot is silly, cute and entirely Japanese.

Jumping Flash! is spread about 6 worlds with 3 stages apiece. Your mission in most of the stages is to collect the 4 carrot shaped Jet Pods. A majority of the stages are open and sprawling with large amounts of enemies to fight and platforms to jump on. So yes this is a 3D platformer, a year before Super Mario 64 graced the world. As opposed to being in 3rd person though Jumping Flash! plays in a first person perspective. And right there I just imagined a whole bunch of people reading this give a collective groan. As we know platforming in 3D with a first person perspective is quite a tricky proposition, but Jumping Flash! actually managed to do it quite well. The biggest thing that JF! does to rectify the problems with FP jumping is that you have the ability to jump twice more in the air. This not only allows you to make corrections but when you perform the 2nd or 3rd jump Robbit's view aims down and a shadow helps you target your landing to the platform you are jumping on. Robbit also has two means of enemy destruction: Mario like jumping and double barrel laser blast. It is wise to use them in conjunction to defeat your enemies since some enemies can damage you if you jump on them or can be hard to shoot. Also be sure to take into account your falling momentum when jumping on enemies the higher the jump the more likely you are going to defeat it. And finally there are a large variety of power ups and weapons to use against your foes.

The biggest flaws in gameplay are in the two stages where the game goes mostly corridor and plays a bit like a FPS. Unfortunately the game doesn't work in the context as on foot Robbit's mobility isn't as great as his jumping mobility. So avoiding enemy fire is a bit of a pain in the butt and are the biggest drags on the game. Also when jumping sometimes the double or triple jump will fail to work and if you are trying to make a big jump can lead to an untimely death. Also the game is mighty short, only 18 stages, 7 of which are boss battles, and most can be finished very quickly. Not to mention that it is a tad bit on the easy side.

The graphics in JF! actually hold up alright as far as Playstation games go. The models are simple, the textures are good and the draw distance is mighty impressive. There is still lots of pop and fog but nothing excessive.

The sound is a bit of mixed bag. There are some nice songs but nothing memorable and the sound FX can be a bit rough especially Robbit's voice work. His screams tend to get annoying especially if you are in a situation that gets you hit a lot.

In summation, Jumping Flash! is an interesting bit of early 3D platforming. As it came out a year before Super Mario 64 it did some things that that Mario 64 did really well first but was overshadowed quite a bit by the more marketable PSX games at the time and, well, Mario 64 pretty much doing everything better. And hey it did well enough to garner a sequel which I intend to buy on the PSN as well. You can get it for $6 there so it is well worth your money if you like 3D platformers and want to play one of the earliest examples of the genre. It probably won't supplant Mario 64 in your heart if you are like me but it'll certainly give you something to think about.

Pros/Cons

+ Unique First Person platforming mechanics
+ Large sprawling levels
+ Good variety of levels
+ Nice graphics
+ Very weird
- Very short and easy
- Music isn't particularly memorable
- SFX can be kind of grating
- Corridor stages kind of suck

Extra Review: Jumping Flash! 2 released in 1996 developed by Exact and published by Sony.

Yep they made a sequel and once again before Mario 64 came out. Funny that. The story this time is that an intergalactic being known Captain Kabuki (think the King of the Cosmos' uncle) has attacked Baron Aloha's home planet of Little Muu in much the same way that Baron Aloha attacked Crater Planet. Robbit is then called in to save Little Muu from the gigantic guy.

Gameplay is pretty much the same but this time instead of collecting Jet Pods you are collecting Muus. Robbit moves a little faster and the game feels a little tighter. The open worlds of course are once again varied and fun but they insisted on two corridor levels which just aren't fun. But at only 2 levels out 18 (once again 6 worlds with 3 stages and 7 boss stages) isn't too bad. And like the first game (which I forgot to mention) there are extra modes you can access when you beat the game. Extra and super. Extra is a remix version of the stages that will get you the true ending and special basically supercharges Robbit so he can jump 6 times in mid-air, run very fast and cause yourself to fall faster. There is also a time attack mode which has you beating levels as fast as possible.

Graphics look pretty much the same, maybe a bit more polished than the first and still fit the game really well.

The music hasn't improved much but the SFX actually are a little better. At least Robbit's voice isn't as grating as it was in the first.

So all in all, pick them both up. They are fun games and a pretty decent price especially if you like unique platformers. I'd love to see Sony possibly make a new one but I'm not holding my breath.

Flash Friday: Meat Boy

I'm starting to run out of flash games to post... well, the ones that I can remember playing anyway, and that means I'll have to go hunting for more to post in future flash fridays!

Anyway, today's game is Meat Boy, the prototype flash game to Super Meat Boy. I'm not sure how it compares to the indie game hit, but it is definitely a challenging platformer.

Meat Boy

Tip: If all else fails, you can always rage quit

(That's what I did...)

The Quest To Use 1600 Live Points

I have owned an Xbox360 since Christmas Day 2009. Around that holiday season I played the hell out of Left4Dead 2 and DJ Hero. I also played a lot of Hexic and 1 Vs 100. As I began completing these games and my short free trial of Live Gold was running out, I pretty much stopped playing altogether. I hadn't turned the machine on until this Christmas season so some family could play DJ Hero. I was lucky enough to find that a 1600 points card had come into my possession and so finally the other night I downloaded those point to my account and began downloading trials. I wish I had gotten off my ass sooner as Perfect Dark was only a measly 400 points during Christmas but I didn't. That might affect what games I get because I really do wanna play some Perfect Dark once again.

A quick side note is that I love how easily I bypassed the need to pay for those stupidly expensive Wi-Fi adapters. I have an Apple Airport delivering Wi-Fi through to my iMac, and it was a simple matter of plugging my Xbox360 into my iMac and then properly setting up the settings to make my Xbox360 believe my iMac was a router. I love it and I spent $0.00 on it. I helped my cousin do the same set up last night in fact. I learned all about this from this one particular youtube video which you can view here.

Now, I went trial-version crazy and began downloading a ton of them last night. I have over 40 gigs of space on the system, so why not? My first run at the pickings were inspired by my pals over at the Negative World forums. I asked them what I should get and they threw a ton of fantastic-looking suggestions my way. I downloaded Sonic 4 Episode 1, Braid, Super Meat Boy, Scott Pilgrim The Game, Limbo, and the Perfect Dark trial. I apparently already had demos for the disc games, Half Life 2, Kameo, and Call of Duty World At War. Those are quite dated demos nowadays and I think I did end up trying Kameo out and being unimpressed. Regardless, I started playing the games and these have been my thoughts.

Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Episode 1: 1200 pts:
The demo was only the first level of the first world and I was not very impressed. The graphics looked relatively nice, certainly upgraded from their Sega Genesis counterparts, but the gameplay felt awkward or perhaps slow compared to the originals. Maybe it's not fair to judge against the old games but if the sole purpose was to rekindle that fire in the same way Donkey Kong Country Returns recently did for Donkey Kong Country fans,... it might have missed the boat too much. I couldn't imagine spending 1200 points on this, not when I only have 1600.

Braid: 800 pts:
Now this was something a little more interesting. I was told it was a time-based puzzler with platforming elements but that it wasn't specifically a platformer. Color me intrigued. The game demo just jumps right in and after I figured out the basic controls for jumping, climbing, and the mysterious time-reversing feature, I was collecting puzzle pieces left and right. Not all of them though were simple to get, and in fact I missed a handful. Some of these jumps seem wildly far for the basic controls I have at the time. The trailer for the game shows a lot more than the basic moves I have right now so I assume things get unlocked as you progress. Maybe you have to go back for them? Not according to my friend Pandareus at Negative World. I'll have to go back and give it another shot with the little tip he gave me. I made it through the first area to a small castle. A dinosaur comes out and says, "I'm sorry, but the princess is in another castle." What a nice reference Mr. Dinosaur. He then babbled on about purchasing the whole game and getting more castles that the princess might be in. I see a lot of potential here. The music is nice, the graphics are pleasant, and it's overall a fun experience. I worry that it might be a bit short, but we'll see if I pick it up. With the test run over, I moved on to the next game in the list, one that everyone has been drooling over.

Super Meat Boy: 1200 pts:
I loved the feel of it from the get go. Some pimp smacks Super Meat Boy's woman in the face and now he's got to exact revenge? That what it seems like anyway. I was nailing A+ rankings on the first two levels but on the third, I forgot to read the trick it's trying to teach you. I died so much in that chasm that I unlocked an Avatar award, and then it told me I didn't get to keep it because I don't own the full game. What a tease. Playing it again I realized it was teaching me the running jump. I shoulda known. In level 1-5 I encountered a warp zone which came with a booming voice, another achievement, and another mocking that I don't own the full game so I can't collect it. Considering I'm having fun with this and they're mocking me about not being able to collect stuff, this is an effective way to make me want to buy it. I didn't make it through all three warp zone parts initially but upon playing it again I did... only to receive yet another Super Mario Bros. reference when I was explained that the bandage girl, or whatever her name is, was in another warp zone. I love seeing indie developers paying homage to the classics. The game is quite fun, but it's 1200 points which is a little high for me considering I was hoping to get two games out of this card... We'll see. When I played the final World 1 demo level, 1-15, I died twice before successfully beating it. I found that my replay showed all my runs at once, with only one guy surviving. That was quite a neat little feature and it was even better on another level with like, fifteen of the meat boys. So far with Braid and Super Meat Boy, it's a tough decision. The Dark World too... I got a little taste of it and it must be insanely hard later on. Whether I get this game now or not, I need to at some point in the next few months.

Scott Pilgrim The Game: 800 pts:
I was surprised at how long I played this demo for. I was already a huge fan of the band, Anamanaguchi, who did the music for the game and in fact I had heard many of the tracks recently. The game resembles TMNT2 The Arcade Game from my youth, or perhaps that Simpsons Arcade Game. I had a decent amount of fun with it but these games generally aren't my thing. The only fighters I really ever cared about were those in the Super Smash Bros series. Still, this was fun and it was great kicking ass and making money as I pummeled through the seemingly infinite enemies of Toronto's streets. I liked the level up system too which seemed to give me more moves as I went on, however that's not to say I knew how to use them effectively. I was carrying an enemy and I accidentally entered Flatirons Books... who knew I could enter stores! Some chick with subtly bouncing breasts was trying to sell me books like the Vegan Cookbook and 101 Push Ups. Perhaps these were for leveling up or new moves? I bought 101 Push Ups since I could afford it. It apparently boosted my XP by 230 and my strength by 10. Kind of neat, it was like armor or something in an RPG. That's a neat addition to this kind of game. Finally after traversing that special highway and the city of Toronto I came to my first boss battle, Matthew Patel. It felt great to KO him. I've never read the comics but I loved the movie, this might be something I get down the line and I definitely will keep the demo around for quick play sessions. Also in a move against the game, I found the original Turtles Arcade game on the service for a measly 400 coin.

Limbo: 1200 pts:
If German Expressionism Cinema and Film Noir had a baby, it would be Limbo. The atmosphere is both literally and figuratively saturated in this game. From the looks of it, it's a platformer but it involves a little ingenuity. I traversed a foggy lake but once I got to the other side I needed to drag that boat over the land so I could use it to gain height. Then, like Indiana Jones, I climbed up a cliffside, leaped to a dangling vine/rope, and climbed up the cliff. It's pretty great so far, if perhaps just a little slow but I think that's the point. I think you're supposed to soak in this beady-eyed shadow-clad figure as he traverses the landscape. I eventually came to a giant spider hiding near a tree. How morbidly intriguing it was to have it kill me. What was the point? How was I to pass him? When I figured it out, how very haunting it was for him to exact his arachnid revenge. This little game is fascinating and all without background music. I wish this were a little cheaper because it seems like an amazing title but I don't know if I'm going to buy just one 1200 points game, no matter how good it is, especially when I've wanted the next game I played for so long.

Perfect Dark: 800 pts:
The moment this game booted up I felt every ounce of nostalgia flow through me. I suddenly recalled how the enemies would yell, "You bitch!" when I shoot them and how those doors sounded when you opened them. This was classic Perfect Dark but with nicer graphics and an even nicer frame rate. The change in frame rate might be the single most noticeable change. The controls were a little rough though. After being a Wii shooter guy, it's hard to go back to the inferior precision of dual analog. I'm sure though I could if I had to, I mean, the game does include auto aim. It might be cheap but it might make the overall experience that much better. I don't recall if the original had auto-aim or not. It's going to be hard NOT picking this. I wanna see the whole storyline flesh out once more. I would just use my original copy without any problem except that the analog sticks on the old N64 controllers are all quite worn out by now. They are horrible compared to those found on the Nunchuk or the Xbox360 controllers.

I had also downloaded trials for Shadow Complex, Comic Jumper, and both Banjo games but unless I misread something, they are all 1200 points.

In the end I made one final check about my choices. You see, Perfect Dark was recently a measly 400 points but I was slow this Christmas and I missed the boat on that. Still, $10 isn't bad at all and it's what I would be paying for the original non-updated version of the game if it ever released on the Wii's Virtual Console. I did a little more reading at the Perfect Dark page of one of my new favorite sites, XBLARatings.com and people seemed to love everything that has been done to it. I remember fondly how much I love this game so it's a high contender. Then I read about the other 800 points option, Braid. Apparently the game has no replay value, which makes sense, and it can be a little too short... but that's why I wanted to buy two games. This is of course without even considering I still have a decent Christmas bounty to tackle. Braid overall looks and plays really well and I never got into the Prince of Persia series so here's my chance for some time-warping action. It can be a slight precursor to the DS game I'm looking forward to, Radiant Historia. 1200 points is about $15 dollars and while I don't have more money to spend on points right now, I know I'll need to go pick up Limbo and Super Meat Boy in the future. Scott Pilgrim is fun as a demo and Sonic 4 isn't that fun in general. I've spent a lot of time today playing demos and I'll continue with the other games which are still downloading ever so slowly.

The winners of my 1600 Live points definitely go to Perfect Dark and Braid.

Do you think I made the right decisions? Have any suggestions for games I should go buy right now despite not being able to afford them? Let me know in the comments. One of these days I'll purchase a Gold account of Xbox Live, whenever that happens I'd love to kick your ass in some Perfect Dark multiplayer. Just let me know.

Playing The Classics: The Lost Levels: Vol 5

-- Part One -- Part Two -- Part Three -- Part Four --

This is it. Call Gob Bluth... this is the final countdown! World 8, Level 8-1. Here We Go.

The graphics look beautiful right now. Lush green environments, happy clouds in the background, and fantastical mountains in between. This is easily the best looking level in the whole game so far though I doubt it will be topped. 8-1 was tricky but I found myself running through it with flair. Maybe I was getting better at this game, or maybe it was just a superbly designed level. I don't think I'll ever know. 8-2 was full of hidden blocks. I found a bunch. Some had Super Mushrooms, others had Poison Mushrooms, and one even had a Star. Death after Death I realized what I needed to do to make it past the multiple Hammer Bros in my way. Then, as I tried, I found two more hidden blocks! This level his hidden block crazy! I made it to a forced pipe which led me to a nice little bonus area. Phew, I could breathe. Oh but wait... it takes me back to the middle of the level...? But I wasn't fooled. I knew the tricks by now. Right after that spot was a lonely Koopa Paratroopa floating underneath a block... a finesse-filled attack perhaps? Oh yes. I hit the block above the reptile and a vine released. Like Jack and his beanstalk, I climbed. A castle in the clouds? This is new... And a whole level in the clouds. I'm nearly done and the game is still chucking new ideas at me. I love it.

In 8-3, it's a pretty intense level because of the Hammer Bros strung throughout. However I learned something great here. After well over thirty-five tries I learned the secrets of the level as well as the secrets to the Hammer Bros. You have to run. If you run fast enough you can almost always avoid the first attack and they wont have time to get going. Eventually I was running through the level like a mad man. There was this one spot which took me a while to figure out because of more hidden blocks. I kept dying there too. Then I just went balls to the wall through it only to find out that the goal was literally a screen away the whole time. What a sigh of relief. With that sigh, I headed to the final level. Eight Dash Four.

Bowser's Castle is menacing. Just like in Super Mario World, the thunder crackles and the lighting fills the darkness. You start at a lava pit, requiring a bit of fancy movement to get across. Once over though you can't rest, you have to run and time it right to make it past the fire sticks. I ended up on a platform above a pipe. I accidentally slipped off it but saved myself on the pipe and in fact I was able to go down into it. This took me into a water portion of the castle. How bizarre. I hoped I wouldn't die solely because I doubt I could recreate that little bit of footwork again. But I would. I would have to over and over because this castle is the hardest castle I've ever stepped inside. It is grueling and frustrating and just when you think you're doing okay, there's a section requiring a proper "path" to be taken or it loops. Come on Shigeru... what are you smoking? Once I finally overcame that hurdle... things got intense. I only had to get past it once which was the funny part. I made my way forth and finally found Bowser. He began throwing his stupid hammers while nearby was a pipe with a piranha plant. I somehow managed to jump over him but there wasn't a traditional key to kill him. Instead it was a long hallway and I just kept running. I was truly tense and nervous but I kept running wondering what was next. There was a lava pit with two Paratroopas flying over it and I had no idea what that was about because I couldn't see. I just took a leap of faith on the red one's head and landed on solid ground. I ran into a pipe and got the hell out of there. Next was the a series of enemies I just whizzed by, almost like it was some cruel joke. Finally I came to the actual Bowser. King Koopa himself was in my way. With another well timed leap of faith I ran and jumped over him, managing to land on that key, sending his ass to the lava below. I had such a smile of glee on my face. You will not believe it. I had finally, after a billion deaths, defeated this game... or so I thought. I jumped into Peach's cage and rescued her. She gave me a smooch on the cheek and I'm sure she whispered something about better payment later that night. Her final words however were, "Thank You Mario! The kingdom is saved! Now try a more difficult quest..." WHAT? A more difficult quest? Like being blindfolded? Amputated? Using an Atari Joystick? What? So I chose to save and continue.

World A, Level A-1. This was no steak sauce. I was a Super Mario and I started the level. WTF... What the WTF!? The level was scattered with enemies left and right. It was insane. After a single set of five lives I said, No Thanks. I did my part. Peach can save the kingdom this time. Screw that. I'm gonna go have some spaghetti. [Really though I'm going to go buy a celebratory Slurpee, with Koopa Troopa Green Mountain Dew and Goomba Brown Pepsi. Yum. That's all for this installment of the Playing The Classics series. I hope you enjoyed reading and if you ever play... beware, be afraid, and be ballsy. Good luck!]

Sidenote, I couldn't resist trying A-1 again after posting this and I did end up beating it. Going through these levels I come to the conclusion that they are actually a little easier than the main game. It seems to be more like a "lets have some fun with this" kind of mentality for these bonus worlds. A few quick notes include that B-2 is a water level which seems to have randomly selected enemies (as I didn't encounter the same ones throughout my runs). C-2 was a level I only played twice. It was pretty much another flying Cheep Cheep level with more varied enemies and I just ran through the whole thing. It was tense, but I was just pulling things off correctly. The C World castle was a rehash of a castle from earlier in the game but with a couple subtle touches that made it more challenging. By the time I made it to the last castle, level D-4, I had been quick but careful. Again I pretty much ran through the level with finesse. When I got to King Koopa, I had a stand off instead of blindly running. I waited for an opportunity... until I made my move. I managed to get past him, sending him into the lava. These sixteen bonus levels were not nearly as bad as I expected them. They were definitely easier overall than the main game, but they were possibly more fun. This was one hell of a game that the world didn't get to see for some time. I highly recommend you all play it if you get the chance... just be sure to have the All-Stars version so you can save constantly.

Playing The Classics: The Lost Levels: Vol 4

-- Part One -- Part Two -- Part Three --

So... I got past that sort of. The freak out from the last entry was from the looping of Level 5-3. You see, the level loops like you'd expect from certain castle stages. This happens out in the wild, with no pattern or understanding. Do I jump over that enemy? Do I kill it? Do I go under it? There were so many possibilities, all while I was stuck on a moving platform... I had no idea what to do. I stepped away briefly and came back and realized that jumping off a red koopa troopa and landing in the pipe was the solution. Phew... well, not really. The next part of the level is ridiculous. Perfect jumping and timing is required. How this was ever released without a modern save system is beyond me. Japan seemed afraid it was too difficult for Americans... but I find it hard to believe it wasn't too hard for most Japanese as well. In the end I succeeded and well... I hope I never have to play that level again. :)

The World 5 Castle was an example of a level that's both really challenging. Eventually I could run through it (still occasionally getting hit). Reminded me of Bit.Trip Runner. Once in World 6, I found myself really enjoying it. 6-1 has a great look to it and more of that wind. It made the Mushroom Kingdom feel whimsical unlike ever before. The grass would sway and there were a variety of enemies. I'd like to see a future Mario game like this, perhaps a new 3D Super Mario 64 style Mario game. The aesthetic is just great. 6-2 turned out to be a water level... less attractive and still challenging. Oh well, this comes with the territory. Again, there were more twists. Here there were platforms in the water like those found all over the world. The moving girders were added trickiness but nothing too bad. 6-3 had another nice aesthetic with Goomba Statues in the background. It was another flying Cheep Cheep level which wasn't too hard if you just run constantly. Luckily, at the tricky part I died at, the checkmark was right next to a super mushroom. Finally, some compassion from this game. That's where the compassion ends though. With a level like 7-3, which is almost all platforms with springs on them, the game continues to be tricky from start to finish.

When I got to 7-4 and to that castle.... it was easy and tough at the same time. Easy to figure out, hard to master I suppose. Eventually I got fluid at reaching Koopa and he was actually a little easier than before, by luck. I did one of those epic run and jumps that you just don't know what's going to happen and I slipped through a tiny tiny tiny gap in Bowser's hammer throwing. When I knocked him into the lava I quickly dropped the controller and had a bit of a goofy laugh. I'm proud of it though. I busted out those Toads and headed to the final world, World 8, at least I think it's the final. Four levels left. Four. Levels. Left.

Now run right Mario. Run right, and jump with honor!

Read Part 5

Playing The Classics: The Lost Levels: Vol 3

-- Part One -- Part Two --

And with the Warp Zone from Level 1-2, I found myself back in World 2. In order to make my way through all the levels, I had to play through World 2 and Level 3-1 again to find myself back on track for 3-2. When I came across that spring, I dismissed it like a Goomba to pants. I've learned my lesson...for now. I was kind of sad leaving the snow behind so quick but the levels continued to get better and better.

The World 3 castle level was my next "wall" I encountered. It was one of those annoying levels where you have to figure out the pattern or the level will continue to repeat itself. Finding out the pattern is of course trial and error which isn't the worst part though. I was convinced that an insanely hard jump was the key. I tried making that jump for a long long time. Then, by accident like with the last wall, I found some invisible blocks by complete accident. That was the solution! The rest was simple to figure out and I beat Bowser with 329 left on the clock. Upon freeing the Toads, I realized this was the first time I watched this animation. I like it. It's kinda cute. I can only imagine how packed seven Toads will be though... Tough break.

As I made my way through World 4... the preview screens became more menacing and the levels themselves certainly followed suit. Bullet Bills, Hammer Bros, and Lakitus, all while small because well, that's what happens in this game. It's been quite a challenge but it's still really fun to be going through these levels. I am so thankful for the save feature of the 25th Anniversary disc. I made it through the World 4 Castle with relative ease. I only made it to Bowser twice and luckily I made a leap of faith that paid off that second time. Whew. However that certainly wouldn't be the end of my pain.

World 5 contains a new breed of Piranha Plant... pink/orange ones that can't be defeated and they don't get shy when you're near or on a pipe. Hot damn SMB2JPN! They continue to throw the formula into a blender with Miyamoto's face at the bottom. Plus in Level 5-1, I found the WIND to be a damn shock. I died the first time but nailed that part the second time. At the end of Level 5-2 I noticed the possibility of a Warp Zone. I decided to at least investigate it. It was for World 7 but I want to play all these levels, so I just let the clock run out. With that I restarted and made my way back through to the proper exit.

No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No... No!!!

World 5-3... WTF... really?... Find out why in Volume 4. I... I need a minute.

Read Part 4

Playing The Classics: The Lost Levels: Vol 2

-- Part One --

As I got back into the game I found yet another surprise in World 2-1. This game is all about unconventional changes to the Mario formula. I received a Starman early on and yet the area right after was full of large watery pits. Normally you're allowed to run for a while knocking enemies out but here you received a star and didn't have much to do. In fact, having the speed boost might have made it harder to traverse the pits. Surprising to say the least. I also ran into a spring. Before they were very hard to use properly but here they launch you into the air off screen for a moment lasting a few seconds. It's a super jump. I wonder, and fully expect, if this will come into play trickier later. Level 2-2 is where I found pretty much the first big problem for myself. A pit too far to jump across. A ledge in the worst spot ever. This game has no mercy. I have wasted many lives and continues that this particular spot. Consider me stumped right now.

A day later I figured it out. It didn't take me too long and it was painfully obvious but still... there wasn't just one hidden block but two. I had a hard time finding it though. This game definitely throws conventions out the window. I tried, as anyone would, to jump that gap in any ways I could. I even saved the star earlier in the level, slowly following it's bounce, in hopes that would give me some kind of extra jumping power. It didn't and now I know why.

When playing through 2-4, I, by complete accident, hit an invisible block which provided a convenient Super Mushroom for myself partway through the level. I had to run back and nab it just before it fell into some lava. I was quite smooth on that move. After a few tries I made it to the end of the castle. I really appreciate the graphics in this game. I don't know how the original compared but there are some nice subtle touches. When the floor Bowser was standing on disintegrates, it does so in such a nice way. It's satisfying like watching dominoes fall.

Coming into World 3, level 3-1 has some nice little snow touches to give this a real feel of a Snow World. I don't think there was a Snow World of any kind in Super Mario Bros. Quite nice here. Nice only for a moment that is. The game sets you up for a douche move. There's a spring right before the end of the level. I now knew that springs work insanely well in this game. So I shot up and floated right as fast as possible, knowing I'd go over the flagpole and to some secret. Well, normally that secret would be a warp pipe to the future (which I didn't want anyway because I wanted to play every level of this game). Instead I reached the warp zone and found a Warp to World 1. What a bitch. What a crafty bitch.

Nintendo and I were in a mind game... and they were winning. At least upon returning to level 1-1 with a Super Mario, I was able to earn a Fire Mario for a little while. I guess that's the glass half full eh?

Read Part 3

Playing The Classics: The Lost Levels: Vol 1

I purchased Super Mario All-Stars for Wii recently and while I'm a bit disappointed in the overall package, one thing it's good for is Super Mario The Lost Levels. I had heard the stories... about its evil nature... but I decided it's time to play it. I never have before. Will I be frustrated? Will I be able to beat it? Time will tell. Welcome to the next installment of Playing The Classics from me, for Super Mario The Lost Levels. With the press of the Start button on my Gold Classic Controller Pro, I began my journey.

I like the musical rendition of the classic theme here on the opening menu. It's misleading... calming... until the game begins. Right off the bat I meet the Poison Mushroom. I had never known this existed until a few years back because I think it has only been in this game in the manner that it is. I avoid it so not to discover it's effects. One thing though is that these controls feel weird. I don't know what's wrong but it doesn't feel as quick as Super Mario 3 and yet it still is kind of reminiscent of Super Mario Bros. It's in a weird middle ground that I hope I eventually get used to. Not surprised, it's still level 1-1 and I died. This is gonna be fun... right? Though the game restarted me right where I died. Conveniently I died by a checkpoint. When I reached 1-2, the classic underground style stage, I almost took the whole 'ceiling' path but I realized if I'm going to play this, I'm going to play it old school as it was intended. That said, I died on a piranha plant. The issue isn't so much with the level design though. I feel like it's the controls still. If this were New Super Mario Bros. Wii... that wouldn't have happened. It makes you wonder why they didn't release a New Super Mario All-Stars with these four games in updated graphics and controls. Just think about how amazing that would have been. Think. About. It.

WTF, Pink Flying Squid!? Wow, this is something strange. Having the Bloopers when you cant simply move anywhere you want on screen is quite a change in the dynamic. It's a fresh take, even for this time in my gaming career. If these are the kind of surprises I'm in for, then I'm going to have one hell of an experience with this game. When I got to level 1-4 I found the graphics to be nice. They reminded me of Mario Is Missing, a great learning PC game from back in the day (though it was also an SNES title). I made it to Koopa and found it easy enough, this time, to send him to the lava pits of doom. I loved how his vain bastard self had a self portrait on the wall. Nice touch.

That leaves it for now. World 1 of what I assume is 8. This was tricky but not that hard. The controls seem to be a big culprit. We'll find out soon how right or wrong I am. Soon for sure. Stay tuned!

Read Part 2